Thank You!

Thank you guys for alll the wonerful supportive consoles and kind words. I really appreciate yall helping me to tide over my dark days haha. Love yall. No homo.

After i got all out of my system, I just went to think back for a moment haha great memories duncha think so?

For those who still blur, the main point of the whole thing is, she dumped me 4 the company of her friends.

She told me im overly possesive, blah blah blah. Smth around that line and told me she wanted to spent more time wif her new n old friends now that her social circle has widened.

Well she has her views, but here is my take on this.

I dun see myself as a overlypossesive person. Ppl close to me alr knew that. Im more of a "ok-go do wat u wan" person as long as u tell me early.

Plus, i am at the lonliest period of my life, getting into army. ALL guys experience this, guys who are attached b4 army are generally more anxious and nervous, they tend to get out of self ya see. Thinkin back, wtf that wasnt me?!!!! I didnt expect myself to be THAT emotional. I feel reaaaaaal awkward now i tot about it. Its so.... surreal ya?

i digressed, but me? Im not overlypossessive. Im just lonely and wanted a girl close to me to give me a lil more attention.

Yet she claimed i take up too much of her time indirectly. Hell if u wan to spend more time wif ur frens, im not stopping u at all. I go army alr. U got a whole fricken month to hang out. Or even more. 2 fricken years!!!!

So.... a few days dedicated entirely to me is.... too much??

I know right? All these are nth but... EXCUSES! The root cause of this can only be 1 thing.

Her feelings for me are lost.

Lost to who? Lost to what? I dunnoe.

but maybe she REALLY wanted to spend more time wif her frens?? I dunnoe. Im not in a position to doubt her also, she has her own life too.

But to dump a bf abt a week b4 army?? Thats a total bitch move and uncalled 4. This is agreed everywhere, internet or real life. Its ok thou, no point pointing fngers at others.

I do have my faults i noe. But i have not genuienely cared for a girl for a reeaaaallly long time. I really do care for her, i am sincere.

Perhaps i was too nice? Or i didnt do enuf?

Haha am i really that lousy? Man i need some tuitions on how to please a girl then.

Oh ya 1 thing . 1 MAJOR mistake i made, i lost myself in the r/s. I sacrificed quite alot of things i usually do to make time for her. Wich i do NOT REGRET AT ALL. Time spent wif her wasnt always nice and fun, but at least i was happy.

But HELL towards the end of the r/s. THAT WAS NOT ME! i felt like lady gaga. puting on so many fronts to cover the real me.

I found myself back. And i want to start a new r/s in future wif MYself. i would go back to her no problem. Given if she still had feelings for me. But i doubt it.

And her facebook updates shown in my main facebook page. Are u in love. 70%. Ouch. Thats totally rubbing it in my face.

Haha i noe she doenst mean it la. Its just a quiz. But u noe, i do really care for her. Lookin at that brings a lil hurt back to me. Bt im ok dun worry haha.

Looks like she found a guy she like alr? boy that was fast. I hope its just a quiz thou, thou i wun be surprised if i find out she got hooked up when im in camp haha.

Well... Deal wif it. deal wif it like a man. I haved stopped being sad alr. Its just.... It sucks to have a person dumped u for someting u have no control over.

BUT!! If given a chance to go back to the past and change things, i will change NOTHING. I would still go thru it. And experience the same thing. I want to learn that pain, and how to tackle it.

How to handle it as myself, not the shadow that i used to be.

And i will date her once again with the "Lost and Found" self of mine.

Tis is wat i would do.

People tell me. " Dun give up the whole forest for a tree"

Here is my answer to u.

"I noe. But for now. The tree that i want is the only tree that bears fruit. The rest of the trees? they are carboncopies".

Hopefully she will understand i TRULY care for her. As a friend. As a person. As a lover.

Long post eh? Gotta get everything settled till tmrw. Army days in 1 day haha.

Good luck to guys out there who experienced the same if not more painful stuff than me. I hope u pickurself up. Dun let smth like this burden u. Its tough i noe. But....

DEAL WIF IT. LIKE A MAN.